A pocket full of posies.

its over... will I pass?

I'm feeling damn insecure... sigh~ This has never happened to me.. not even for the Stats paper or the Physics one. I used to always feel secure in my Bio subjects - now... its driving me crazy. I need to think about other things like Bangkok and Sydney and Zara and seeing friends back home and watching movies and seeing the world cup and ... yeah, the list goes on. Please, please take my mind off that particular thing.

a different Friday night??

This morning I woke up feeling like I shouldn't concentrate on the parts of my life which were a bit unsavoury and this blog is certainly becoming such a pit-hole of whiny thoughts that I even shudder when I read it T_T. So, I thought I would blog about something more fun and happening then what's been already written.

Yep, yep. So yesterday was Friday night. Or as Grace usually says "FRIDAY NIGHT" which means in our vocab ,dinner night but more fun? Lol. But yeah, so we had our dinner at Dessert House and oddly enough didn't order the deep fried calamari with fried rice but instead got the yong tau fu =) because I thought I was feeling a bit heaty so didn't want to risk it before the exam. I didn't realise how crowded the restaurant gets even on a Friday night which kind of puzzled me but then its cheap-ish and tasty food so I can't complain. There were really large tables as well with like10 people and it was obvious that they were squeezing us in like sardines when the top floor started looking more like canteen tables than an actual restaurant. But it was all good especially once I got started on my food and mmmilk tea~~ =) yum!

After dinner and the usual "can you get change for all of us and ask them to split up the change?" scenario, we headed back in the general direction of home but it was the kind of walk that could be classified as dawdling or erm.. ok, lets face it - it was the epitome of procrastination. SOME people wanted to "work" at some place - some kind of shop was it? T_T But the less alco-addicted of us wanted to head somewhere we could just sit and talk without having our heads in. =) So we decided on Koko Black and hoped to high heavens that we could get a seat there especially since (if I haven't emphasised enough already) it was a Friday night.

You would think that a walk there would really have nothing much to talk about. But it was seriously crazy.. One moment we were walking down Swanston and then suddenly two of us wanted to have a fight! All Black One was shouting "fight, fight, fight" while thinking about the popcorn he left at home whilst those hot-headed friends of mine tried to 1-2 each other. To say the least, it was an unsatisfying match - demand a re-match please!! =)

Oddly enough, we did find a seat at Koko and apparently it was a "happening" seat so some people were quite high about that although they were deciding on just getting baby chino or whatever it was. T_T~ You know, to think back about the night it was amazing we did talk about stuff in between all that fighting, black & white filming, licking spoons and science sugar experiments - but we did! And it was all about sepiloks, chicken shooing, backstreet boys, meteor garden, how hot Mike He is, sultans of Malaysia(?), who drives better and how unsatisfying JJ Lin's concert was. Random huh... Lol - but it happened. And we kind of had a mini generation music talk where some of us realised how old we really were. But you know at the end of it, it felt really good to have this kind of laid-back night just filled with talk, nonsense and laughter. I think its been a long time since we had this kind of thing because usually its all about drinking and clubbing and what not. Haha - to think this is the kind of night I have just because of exams? Anyways, next Friday will be entirely different I'm guessing what with camp just around the corner and an important Bra vs. Por match being played that night. Let's see what happens =)

You know... it isn't easy being who you are. And having to feel your "disadvantage" being played to its utmost strength hurts. I understand that its difficult to approach and the awkwardness tells me as much but really... if you really cared, you wouldn't treat me the way you do. I don't know, I guess it was either that I expected too much or didn't think about it too much when it started.




To think I was stupid enough to think it wouldn't affect me.

crap

I have the conscious understanding that I am screwed for MCB.










.....great.....

chin-up!

Gyah!! Blogging seems necessary and inevitable without facebook but to tell you the truth, Twitter has been keeping me sane these past few weeks only because I think I am more of a twitter-er than a facebook-er. I mean, looking at photos and seeing how people are linked to whom or finding someone you haven't seen in a long time is all good and all but sometimes I think enough is enough. No matter how much you look at people, they won't sprout wings or grow fangs so I guess that doesn't excite me anymore. Although, if people did turn into leprechauns overnight or turned an alien martian colour, I would forever be fascinated by the events on facebook.

Its Wednesday - and I have an exam tomorrow. I should be studying avidly like the reputation that is given to the supposed nerd-crazed Biomedders but I think I somehow missed out on that gene. Maybe I have a mutant gene. Either that or it was in one of my X-chromosomes which somehow got silenced - its in a Barr body somewhere... I'm pretty sure of it. Although, that suggests that I am "tabby" for the nerd gene which somehow doesn't seem right. I guess its recessive then.. T_T~ Sigh... I feel crap knowing that I didn't put the effort I should have in this semester especially since I knew I was falling back each time I sat for one of the mid-semester tests. Why did I become this way? Why have I become someone who puts 'play' as a priority over work even in the face of sure suffering? I think its time I change my ways. Its all good to have fun but when fun intrudes on the rest of life, I need to rethink where I am and where I am going to. Maybe I need to shake off the bad influences on me. I was thinking recently that I need to be less selfless - its not good, but I have to make before I give, I can actually give.

You know what? I'm going to have a mid-year resolution. Sorry world - you're going to see less of me. I need to find limits and I better find it fast before I realise I have wasted 3 years of my life to get nothing out of it. Its time to grow up and identify what is actually good in my life and what is wasting me away. I apologise in advance if an area in my life is disposed off but you see, its a game of survival out there. Cat eat dog? Hhhmm~~

Anways, enough of my musings - time to see the Portugal vs. Cote d'Ivoire game.. it seems pretty aggressive!! (>_<)